This is a story, by the one and only PattyK.

Okay, this is a little story, not about a blue man, not a diddy about Jack and Diane, but a little story about me. You see, I’ve been known to drink twenty two beers before a show, or else I probly wouldn’t have the balls. You know, like Mario and his firepowers stickin dick to the princess it’s senseless, whichever way you want it I rock cocks obnoxious it feels like a midgets chillin in my boxers.

Okay so that was mostly song lyrics, so I’ll write a real story. It starts with this joke: Whats brown and sticky? The answer is a stick. So one day Jack, our hero, decides that he wants to slay the mighty Murloc, who resides in the Dark Pond. So jack suites up, wearing a worn leather vest and a steel helm of ass kickery +1. All he needed now was his valiant weapon, the Stick of OWN +2. This of course allowed him a plus two to his hit roll and damage roll, something the mighty murloc hadn’t yet thought him capable of. Soon, he was off on his adventure, hereforth known as “Jack, The Stick, And The Ass Kick”

So Jack began his journey by first passing through the forest of unknown. Sure, the forest had been there for as many years as people can remember, but no one knew what lay beyond the mighty branches, which seemed to create a strong gate. Not strong enough, however, for the Stick of OWN. Jack slashed the shit out the wood and it went down like a cheap woman. So Jack made his way through the forest, almost without incident.

At the very edge of the forest, as he was about to enter Murlocs lair, he was struck across the face suddenly, but surely. He started swirling about to face his attacker, but it would seem his attacker couldn’t be seen. The blood started flowing freely from his cheek and above his eyebrow nearly entirely blinded his vision. He started swinging wildly, his stick of OWN destroying every bow and limb of the trees.

BOOBIES!