I'll Be a Sex God From Keggling Across Kansas

Anyone who knows me should know that I more than anyone I know really really hates to leave a party before it ends. I like to milk a party for all its worth. So this whole leaving St. Louis before anyone else really blows. I feel like a four year old screaming and throwing a shit on the floor of the kitchen just cause I can’t have a cookie. And the fact that I not only have to unwillingly go across country but I have to live with the fact that I chose this for myself and I have to drive myself away. This continues to blow donkey chunks.

I hope everyone does twice as well as I've been doing when that infamous time comes when they have to pack up all of their belongings and move across country saying goodbye to all of their family and friends. And for those of you that don't have to do that anytime soon, well Nick, I've come to conclusion (to make me feel better at least) that you are incapable of making the move and I am therefore stronger than you. At least in this way.

Right so we were on the road. We stopped in Topeka for a bit o’ shut eye. That’s right. An entire day of driving done and we’re only in Topeka. Well, that happens when it takes you three freaking hours to get out of St. Louis thanks to traffic on 70. We were in the thick of that. We ate dinner in Columbia (Applebees if anyone was wondering). We got through Kansas City without getting too lost around 10:30. Rolled into Topeka about 12:30. It is now 8:30 and we’re starting off.

This is really bizarre. Mostly because it doesn’t really seem like I’m moving across country. It just seems like we’re going on a vacation. And it is taking forever to get through Missouri. So the car set-up is such: My dad is driving the Escape which is hitched up to the trailer which has both his bike and my bike on the back. He gets to enjoy this lovely car ride with my sneezit of a sister. Last I heard they were listening to Mexican polka music and playing Mario Kart. But she found my System of a Down CD so that’s all that matters. My mom is currently driving my Pluto baby with all the material objects of my life stuffed as best as possible into the back. I’ll be driving when we stop in Salina (99 miles) for gas. Its been an interesting trip thus far. My mom have been playing the clean version of “Would You Rather” as well as seeing if we can name all of the state capitals (which we did no thanks to the little shit that is South Carolina) and as many of the presidents as possible (we’ve gotten like 28 of them so far).

The music choices have been clean. Right now it is the soundtrack to Armageddon. We’ve done Bare Naked Ladies, the Beatles, Garden State soundtrack, etc. You get the point. Feel good music. Stuff that’s for the most part happy or at least low key with the exception of Aerosmith singing I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing. That was my doing. But did you ever just want to listen to some really loud, obnoxious, crude, fast music? Yeah well I know the feeling. That’s all I want to listen to. Hard Fucking by Tenacious D. Violent Pornography by System of a Down. Something that my mom will no doubt not like. That is why I’d kinda prefer my dad to drive this car for a bit. However I think hes a little skeptical to share a tight space with an emotionally charged teenage girl who he can’t seem to understand.

I think I’ve been pretty good about all of this. I mean my mother is listening to Leaving on a Jet Plane and I’m perfectly composed. I’m proud of myself. Of course, later I might regret convincing my subconscious into thinking that this is an unusually long vacation. Until that point, I will survive. Battery is low. Talk to you later.

P.S. I forgot my toothbrush.